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Friday, February 15, 2008

Your input is requested, please...

I know that in the past I have written about my best friend's upcoming wedding. Here's an update: It has been postponed. I was having issues with finding a location for the bridal shower, and in my attempts to contact her mother about using a cousin's home, I find out (through her mother) that the wedding has been postponed due to the fiance's pending deployment. I was shocked, and wasn't quite sure as to what I should do as far as speaking to the bride-to-be. Although the diet pressure and the wedding pressure was slightly relieved for me, I didn't know what exactly the protocol would be for comforting her. I waited a few days, since I wasn't sure how fresh the wound was, and called her, leaving a message, saying I understood if she didn't want to talk, but that I would be there for her if she needed me. About a week passed, with no answer, and I tried calling again, with the same results. I noticed she was online at one point, so I emailed her. I still have not received a response from any of my attempts.
Then, earlier last week, I called her from my work number, since about 3 weeks had passed and I was getting worried, thinking she was holed up in a bathroom somewhere, slowly rocking herself and singing "It's a Small World After All." Since she didn't know my number at work, she picked up, and was apparently asleep. I told her that all I wanted to know was that she was ok, and she didn't have to talk about the situation if she didn't want to. She hung up shortly after. About a week or so later I got a call from her after I was already in bed, in which she updates me on some little things going on, and to ask if I was ok (I was in an accident on Tuesday night...I'm ok), and to ask if she and her mom could stay at my house this weekend. I told her she'd have to ask my mom and to call her, since I am not living at the house.
Then last night, after speak with my dad he goes, "So, (bride) and (groom) eloped, huh?" I politely corrected him, for surely he must be mistaken. Surely, if they were married, I would have been informed. We've been best friends for ten years. I'm the maid of honor, for god's sakes! After spending more time than necessary correcting my dad, I got off the phone, and my other best friend calls. She had been on the phone with my mother regarding some travel plans, and she says to me, "Did you know (bride) got married?" I told her I had no idea, and was sure she was mistaken (the only place she would have heard it from is my mother), but since she was the second person I had heard this from in the last fifteen minutes, I decided to go right to the source. I can't have rumors going around about people I love. I text her, "Are you already married?" Then I call. No answer. I'm going crazy waiting for her, so I call the fiance, and he tells me that yes....they got married.
So now I'm hurt, and I'm angry, and quite disrespected. And the more I think about it and try and maybe rationalize it, the angrier I get! She wasn't even the one to tell me the wedding was postponed! It was up on her (social networking site)'s webpage, but she never told me. In fact, I might still be trying to plan the shower if I hadn't called her mother. So she tells my mother before she tells me that she's married already. Does she call quickly afterward so that she is still the person that tells me first? Nope. Has she even tried to call yet to talk about it? Nope. And am I planning on speaking to her at all? I'll let you fill in this response.
In fact, I'm sending the two-sizes-too-small dress back to her, saying maybe she should find a real size 14 that can fit into it.
Am I wrong here?

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