Breaking Away

Many of you know that I'm here in Washington, DC. In a way, it's a vacation, in the sense that I'm away from home and am not working. On the other hand, I'm here looking for work. I'm really trying to see how life is here, and if I can do it. If anything, I've learned it's expensive. But I have figured out so much more than the money. I love it here. For the first time in years, I feel like I truly belong somewhere. I've been in Augusta for so long I don't know what it's like being somewhere else. I didn't leave for college. I didn't even move out. But I need to. I'm closing in on 26 years, for god's sakes. I really think that if I discipline myself I can make it here.
One of the hardest things was putting my resume out there. I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow what I have to offer wasn't good enough on paper. A friend of mine made an excellent point that I needed to "market" my skills as opposed to just listing them. Without him, I think I wouldn't have applied to anything. Also, I signed up for a job searcher that deals specifically on Capitol Hill. For shits and giggles, I even started looking at apartments. They say that in order to truly get things done one must be proactive. Unfortunately I have long lived with the belief that whenever I get too excited or prepare too much for things, something doesn't work out. Is it my thinking that's flawed? Or my crap luck? Either way, I'm still going for it here.
I love Washington, DC. The culture, the food, the history...I love being able to walk places. I want to only drive if I have to or want to. I'm also lucky that my closest friend lives here. i think she would keep me from feeling entirely lost or homesick. I also have family in the Northern Virginia area.
I want somewhere I can make my own. All I need is a job, and some more money.
Feeling like you belong is a wonderful feeling...

What to do...

I am afraid. I have tried not to rely on an unsure thing, but then again, I've never been in a situation like this before. I know that my information has been subitted to the Georgia Department of Labor, and as of last Wednesday I filed my first claim for unemployment insurance. I filed for this week as of midnight (as instructed) and decided to make an inquiry towards my previous claim to see if and when I might expect it in my account and to know the amount I might receive. However, I was surprised to see that the benefits were "not paid," and that I was to go back to the labor office for assistance.
And now, I am faced with a great big "What if?" What if I don't get any assistance? Is it possible to be denied? It's funny - admittedly, I was nervous about even signing up for the benefits, but after I did they seemed like a small light on the horizon. I've worked every chance I've had, even though I've been sick. I don't care if they only give me $50 a week. It would most certainly help with my bills.
If someone reads this that understands the system better, please offer any information you might have, as I would very mnuch appreciate it. I'm so scared they'll say I don't deserve it or don't qualify for it.
Maybe it would be best just to go to bed...

A New Year...?

Wow...I realized I haven't posted since October. It doesn't seem like that long ago when I think about it, but maybe because I'm thinking of all the times I've considered posting but put it off. I did that last week.
What has changed since last year? Well, the economy got to me and I was laid off from my job. True, this was a job from hell, but it was health insurance. It was knowing exactly how much I would have in my bank account every two weeks. But more importantly, it was health insurance, and a damn good plan at that. I was planning on being out of that job by March of 2009, but not like this. I never thought i'd be drawing unemployment benefits. I never, ever thought I'd be in that place, and most certainly not this soon after graduating from college. My afternoon at the Department of Labor was, by far, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It was a lesson in pride and humility if I've ever had one. All I could think was that I wasn't like any of "those people" that I saw down there. The whole time, though, I knew that my way of thinking wasn't right, that I knew nothing about any of them, and who knew if there wasn't someone else in the same situation as I was. It was all I could do not to cry out of shame and/or anger. I am, however, extremely lucky to have the Village Deli to fall back on. They have been gracious and generous enough to give me somewhat steady employment. It is better than nothing, and it's something I truly enjoy doing. The customers are better than I could have ever asked for.
In the meantime, I'm trying to figure myself out again. I feel like I'm back at square one, wondering what the hell I am going to do with my life. The job at the apartments wasn't by any means a permanent one, but it was a routine. It was stability. Yet I keep having to ask myself, "Is this what I really want?" Now I think I can take time to get out there and do what I am meant to do and live my own life. We shall see.