QUESTION

Ok, I have a question and I would like for everyone who reads this thing to leave a comment as your answer. I'd really appreciate your input.

If you know that someone you care about is lying to you, is it your responsibility to call him or her on it? Or, do you let that person continue to lie, allowing them to eventually answer for their own actions?

Men vs. Women

I was speaking to a coworker this evening who is trying to earn back the trust of his wife after having cheated on her. I knew he was cheating; I even saw him at work with the other woman. He was talking about how hard it was working through things with her, and I understand. I don't think he gets how a woman processes infidelity. It's not just the idea that the person she loves has been untrue. She also questions his honesty and integrity in all other situations. Not only that, she questions herself. She wonders, "Was it me? Was I not enough? Am I not pretty enough? Did I not treat him well enough?" Because of the way women are built emotionally, they internalize everything, and wonder if it was their caring or lack thereof that drove the man to cheat.
And it really isn't that easy to regain the trust. It would take an extremely long time to get that privilege back, if it ever happens at all. As much as she tries (and this does apply for men as well), she will question every other thing he does. It doesn't matter if he is 100% honest or not, and hopefully he would be. Still, every time he calls to say he's working late, or turns his cell phone off, or even goes out with the boys, she'll wonder if that's what he's really doing. It's not just on the woman to work on the trust, the man will have to show that he's trying, too. If not, what's the use?

I speak from experience. (You think?!)