Thursday, June 26, 2008

Power of Prayer

I've started to pray the St. Joseph Novena. I'm not an overly religious person, but I often find myself turning to prayer when I don't know what else to do. I don't know if it's a superstition thing or what. To me, it's more powerful than that. When I feel there is nothing left I can do in a particular situation, I pray. I've been doing more and more of it lately as well.
I began the St. Joseph Novena two days ago. Acutally, four days. I started, then forgot the second day, and had to start over.


(Note: This prayer was found in the 50th year of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. In 1505, it was sent by the Pope to Emperor Charles when he was going into battle. It is said that whoever shall read this prayer or take it with them, shall never die a sudden death or be drowned, nor shall poison take effect on them; neither shall they fall into the hands of the enemy, or shall be burned in any fire or shall be overpowered in battle.)

Say this prayer for nine days for anything you may desire. Then let go and let God. Trust that whatever is the outcome of your novena is truly what is best for you in accordance with the will of God.)

O Saint Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God, I place in you all my interests and desires.

O Saint Joseph, assist me by your powerful intercession and obtain for me from your Divine Son all spiritual blessings through Jesus Christ, Our Lord; so that having engaged here below your heavenly power, I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of Fathers.

O Saint Joseph, I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms; I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press Him in my name and kiss His fine head for me, and ask Him to return the Kiss when I draw my dying breath. Amen

O Saint Joseph, hear my prayers and obtain my petitions. O Saint Joseph, pray for me. (Mention your intention)

From what I have been told, it's a powerful prayer. My father prayed it every day while he was in Vietnam, and came home without a scratch. I also know both of my parents prayed it so we could sell the house in Virginia back in 1992, and here we are. I've never been able to remember to pray it for nine mornings, so I guess what I have wanted to pray for in the past wasn't that important. At the same time, I know that it can be just as much of a blessing having prayers unanswered. I know that what I want isn't always what's supposed to happen.
So it's the second day, and I'm seeing changes already. Part of what I am praying for is closure, and the strength to get my ex-boyfriend out of my life, since I don't see my relationship with him as healthy. It's part of what is keeping me stagnant, and I want so much to go forward. Well, yesterday, I finally found the strength to delete him from everything I have: my phone, my computer, online. I finally told him I was done, and I finally feel it.
The power of prayer is to feel the small changes. They are tiny in the grand scope of things, but enormous to me. For once, I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


What? What's this?
You know, for the longest time, I thought I was invincible. I thought I was damaged and hurt to the point of numbness. I thought I had built this wall strong enough.
But as much as it frightens me, I think I may be developing feelings for someone. And I think what scares me the most is the idea of opening myself to getting hurt. But for this one, I think I may be ready. I can't say that one word, though...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

From one breath to the next...

I have never been so happy for a day off. I have been thinking, as I search for a new job, of what the corporate cronies could do to make the property better. First, give all of us in the office a raise. Secondly, try to do what we do for just one day. They ask for us to get a certain amount of things done in a day, which is fine, but I think they don't understand just what we go through on a daily basis. The amount of foot traffic we get, and phone calls, makes it very hard to get other things done. Taking care of the tasks at hand doesn't leave much time for alot of our paperwork, as much as it needs to be done. I don't think more people need to be hired; things are crowded enough as it is. But maybe if they stepped in our shoes for just one day, they'd get it, and maybe help us handle it better. That's why they get paid the big bucks, right?

Also, anyone know of any good avenues for job searches?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Nicaragua: Day Two

It's the second day of the hostile takeover. Needless to say, it's been thoroughly exhausting. It's like re-learning everything that's been drilled into my brain for the last four to five months. What I'm most afraid of is the corporate people not liking me, or finding out what I've been fearing and avoiding for the last, well, four to five months: I'm no good at this. I'm praying that they won't hold the fact that I suck at this against me and just assume I wasn't taught well. All I can do for now is keep the trepidation to myself, show a good attitude, and keep moving forward, since it IS my job (for now).
I still don't know the exact reason for the managerial removal. I guess that it's mainly because the property wasn't moving in the direction that they owners wanted it to go, and they didn't feel the person in place was doing what was necessary. Well, obviously, since there were shootings and all. The thing is, with the rental rates being what they are, the kind of people that are attracted aren't the best kind. (There's a statement that's got to break at least one Fair Housing rule.) We'll see. So far, it's OK, just crazy.
On a less-stressful note, I'm off tomorrow, and indulging in a day at the spa, thanks to my Economic Stimulus check. And I don't think I'll answer the phone until I return to work on Thursday.

Monday, June 2, 2008

And Taking Names....

I think I now know what a coup d'etat feels like. I was sitting in my office, merrily (ok, maybe not merrily) working away, and a coworker comes in, whispering hurriedly, "Ronan's here...that's Ronan!" Our corporate honcho had arrived, accompanied by several of his cronies, a few of which I had never met. Something big was going down. I didn't think too much of it, since we'd had several corporate visits, both surprise and planned, in the past month or so. We'd been working hard and brushing up and trying to improve, and for a while I thought we were dong well. Next thing I know, my boss is leaving the office with one of the corporo-cronies. That was the last time I saw her. About thirty minutes later, I was informed that she had been "removed" from her position. Tension was thick in the air, tension that I still feel right now, even at home in my room. I have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow. I know that these corporate individuals (All seven of them. Yeah. Seven.) will be here until further notice. It's like the interim government coming in to take control until the new regime is properly established. I feel a small South American country, actually.
This invasion may work out in our favor, though. I'll get new training. Hopefully we'll clean out some of the trash, and I mean that literally and figuratively. It's gotten to where I don't feel safe at work. There have been at least three situations in which guns were involved. I've left buildings and immediately smelled weed. In asking the residents to clean up after themselves, all I get is attitude and insults. I do not know what is going to happen. And I am not sure I want to stick around long enough to find out. This is not a career; it's merely a job. A job that's become a catalyst for me to get a new job.
All I can say is, I can't wait for my day off on Wednesday.