Like banging my head on a brick wall...I went to school for this?

I keep telling myself that all this is happening for a reason, but I have no idea what that reason is. Day by day I lose a little bit more of my sanity, and I'm forgetting how to build it back up again. Is this what I'm supposed to be taught? Mother Teresa once said, "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." Is that what this is? I feel like a total idiot, like there's something I should be able to do about this, but it's just not taking. It also feels like the more I want something, the more it guarantees me that it won't happen. Why? Someone please just put me out of my misery NOW.