Heaven

I cooked for a couple of friends last night, and I made something so good, I just have to share the recipe. It was so sublime, and I truly felt proud of myself for making it. It may seem like alot of work, but really it's just time. It's easy to make, and well worth the wait.

Pomodori al Forno

Ingredients
1 cups (or more) olive oil, divided
2 pounds plum tomatoes, halved lengthwise, seeded
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
3/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 to 2 garlic cloves, minced
2 teaspoons minced fresh Italian parsley
Aged goat cheese (such as Bûcheron)
1 baguette, thinly sliced crosswise, toasted
INGREDIENT TIP/ Alta Cucina canned plum tomatoes are available online from sciabica.com.
Preparation
Preheat oven to 250°F. Pour 1/2 cup oil into 13x9x2-inch glass or ceramic baking dish. Arrange tomatoes in dish, cut side up. Drizzle with remaining 1/2 cup oil. Sprinkle with oregano, sugar, and salt. Bake 1 hour. Using tongs, turn tomatoes over. Bake 1 hour longer. Turn tomatoes over again. Bake until deep red and very tender, transferring tomatoes to plate when soft (time will vary, depending on ripeness of tomatoes), about 15 to 45 minutes longer.
Layer tomatoes in medium bowl, sprinkling garlic and parsley over each layer; reserve oil in baking dish. Drizzle tomatoes with reserved oil, adding more if necessary to cover. Let stand at room temperature 2 hours. DO AHEAD Cover; chill up to 5 days. Bring to room temperature before serving.
Serve with aged goat cheese and toasted baguette slices.


I got it out of this month's Bon Appetit, and I'm including the link:
http://www.bonappetit.com/magazine/2008/09/pomodori_al_forno

Enjoy, ya'll!

Again.

So, I've been stood up again.

Again.

This makes it once a month steadily since March.

And you wonder why I feel the way I do?

Giving up...again.

This one's going to be short and sweet. Or not sweet. I changed my blog address for the reasons I described in my last entry...totally wasn't expecting to have to do that.
I've been finding myself just wanting to sleep. I wake up and just want to go back to bed. I think I need to shake things up, so I'm giving something a try and moving my gym time to the morning. I know this may not seem like much, but it might just be enough to get me out of this rut I'm in. I mean, it couldn't be bad for me, right?
It didn't work out with the guy. It's not beyond repair, but I've pretty much accepted that nothing further will come of it. Hence the blog title.
I've had a very interesting job opportunity. I want to say more, but I am really superstitious as far as jinxes so....more to come when I know more. Let's just say it would take me far - very far- away.

Keeping Tabs

Many of you know about my crappy ex-boyfriend. I don't have any regrets, but me getting back together with him (the first time, back in 2002) will forever be recognized as one of my stupidest moves ever. Still, a necessary error, and I learned alot about myself by looking back on what a dumbshit I was with him. I'm finally cured of my dependency on him, and have been doing everything I can to move on to a healthier state of being. For once I feel like no matter what, I will never want him back. I remember before, telling myself that if he were to ever come back, "changes would have to be made," but I now know with 110% certainty that nothing he could ever do would make me want him again. So if I'm done, what's the big deal? Here's my issue: He has constantly been checking up on me, e-stalking me, if you will. He visits my other blog (which is pretty much just full of bullshit now, just random thoughts or song lyrics I might like) and my MySpace page at least once, normally twice, a day. He doesn't IM me, email me, call me, or text me, nor do I have any desire for him to do so. I guess it shouldn't bother me, but it does. What the hell does he want from me? Does he want to know if I'm miserable without him? Does he want to know if I'm seeing someone? Does he just want to make sure I'm ok? Or is it just that he wants to assure himself that I'll always love him (a promise I made years ago that I have long since broken, and happily so)? I'm struggling with the desire to confront him, to ask him what the hell he wants, and would he be so kind as to leave me the fuck alone. Part of me says, "Screw it, he's your past, who cares? Say whatever you want," but the rest of me (and I don't know if this is the sensible or neurotic side) says, "No, that's putting more uneccesary effort into that shithead than you should." I know most people shouldn't complain about their exes, to show that they are grown up and beyond all that childish BS, but he's constantly butting into something that I wish he'd just stay out of.
I could delete the blog, and I could make my MySpace page private, but I don't want to do that. I don't have to. I have nothing to hide, and that old blog would be like throwing out an old diary. Why should I have to change just because he can't get over me?

The Waiting Game

I know I've talked about this before, and maybe it just seems more present since I'm single, but it seems like everyone around me is getting married. My best and longest friend is already married, and my other best friend will be married in about a year. I went to a bridal shower yesterday (for someone younger than me), and I'm surrounded by photos of friends (via Facebook) who have just gotten married or engaged! I know that everything happens in its own time, but somehow I can't shake this nagging feeling that there's something I'm missing out on. And I don't even know if it's something I want or something that's meant for me!

I need to get out of this house and DO something. I do not like being patient.

So it's not me it's...him?

Actually, it's HER. I don't even know her, but I am sure plenty of other women have met her or had to deal with her: The Ex-Girlfriend. We've also all been her at some point. I sure know I have. Yet until you're seeing it as "the New Girl" with someone you really, really like, you don't really think about it. I could tell something was wrong. Call it a hunch, call it "woman's intuition," call it whatever you want. I just say it's self-education after years of developed disinterest. And this time I wasn't wrong, just slightly off the mark. (Still...not wrong...just go with it...) It's not that he's lost interest in me; he's still just as interested as he always has been (at least I hope so!). It's just that she keeps on calling him and it's frustrating him. I begin to wonder, "Was I ever that girl?" With a wave of embarrassment I realize that yes, I was that girl, albeit with only one guy (and he deserved it). One never realizes the effect they can have on others involved rather than just the intended individual. Now all I'm praying is that she'll wise up and do what I did: move on and go away.

Huh?

He makes me happy. He kisses my hands when he holds them. I catch him looking at me in the movies. He texts me to tell me he is thinking of me, and always to tell me good morning and good night. So when I haven't been able to see him for a week, just because of our schedules, and he stops texting that often, should I really be as alarmed as I feel? I'm confused and a little scared, to be honest, and I really don't want to be burned again, especially by who I think is a good one...