No News is Good News

More news on my knee, for anyone who wants to know:
I went to the orthopedic clinic today for a follow-up appointment, since I didn't seem to be getting better like I should. As it turns out, I don't have merely a dislocated kneecap. I also have torn ligaments and when the kneecap slid out of place, a piece of bone came off and is still stuck in my leg. I have an MRI in a week, and I guess from there one of us will have to decide whether I will be better off with surgery or extensive rehab work.
In the meantime, I'm out of work again. This sucks. I have to find something to do to make money while I'm stuck on my ass.

On a lighter note, I met a great guy, who I really, really like. And he made the first move! The only thing is, he's often hard to read. I like him, but I don't want to get too attached, since I'm so afraid of being hurt. I want something, but at the same time I don't. Maybe if he could just say, "I like you"????

Lunita

Llego la medianoche,
Y la luna se cuelga en el cielo humedo de verano
Como un pedazo de melon, jugoso y lleno de tentacion
Y yo, con sueños de bailar
Me quedo mirandola
Como si este pedacito de melon me pudiera llevar
La mujercita con sueños de bailar.
Quitame esos sueños, que ya voy a ganar.

Status and Misunderstandings

Ok, this is getting to be irritating. I do NOT have a boyfriend. I AM single. I am NOT "looking." It seems that people are under the assumption that "single" means "single and looking." It does not. I am not at a point in my life where I want a boyfriend. I spent the last 5+ years of my life constantly being in some sort of relationship. To be honest, I don't need that right now. I'm having fun by myself. I've met guys I enjoy talking with, spending time with, and if the time and/or place were right, it would work out, without a doubt. Just not right now. Is that so wrong? And how do I get that through people's heads without being rude? Because a simple "Thanks, but no thanks" is apparently not sufficient.

New developments

Well, I'm not going back to work tomorrow. Or the next day. I got a call from my boss today and she says she's not putting me on until next Friday. In a way, I'm relieved. I was scared that I would get in there and not be ready. But at the same time, I want to go back. I don't like not being able to do anything. I enjoy working, as stressful as it can be. Work is a blessing. I'm lucky to have a job as nice as the one I have. But at least this way I will be better and more prepared.

On a different note, I SAW THE NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE!!! Yes, that's right...I went to the midnight show. It was a very good movie, and stuck to the book better than any Potter movie thus far. The actors are phenomenal; wonderfully selected and casted. Nothing was added, as in other movies, like #3 Prisoner of Azkaban. But, there were a few things I thought were left out. I mean, the movie was only 2 hours and 19 minutes! I think true fans wouldn't have minded 3 hours; that's how long Goblet of Fire was. The one main thing I wanted to see in Order of the Phoenix was the Black house. I wish there was more explanation of the Black family history. Kreacher was a major character, and he barely got two scenes. There also wasn't much explanation of the prophecy either. They didn't even say that Professor Trelawney was the one who made it, or discuss Dumbledore's involvement. I feel like I need to go back and read the book again. Actually, I initially listened to it on tape, and it was FANTASTIC. I also wish there would have been more explanation about the Death Eaters and who they were. Screw it, I'm going back to read the book again. There is also an excellent program that A&E has out called "Harry Potter: The Hidden Secrets." Definitely worth a look for a true fan.

Yeah, I'm a dork.

Bleah...

I can't tell if I am getting better or not. It hurts, and both my ankle and knee are still swollen. I am trying to stay off of it, but I think I need to more. Now. For the rest of the night. (Except for the Harry Potter midnight showing tonight.) I've been going up and down the stairs, for laundry...and food. As much as I enjoy reading and sitting in my armchair checking out my rating on "FaceTheJury.com" (8.0), I can't NOT do anything. But at the same time, am I going to be ready for work on Thursday?

On the Menu...

Okay, since I have been spending my time reading and watching plenty of Food Network programming (and, since it's Saturday night, Britcoms), I haven't been able to think about much other than food. I haven't been eating, just thinking about food. And I've come up with a few menus. I love cooking for friends, even though I get a little panicky. Anyone want to come over? I may not be able to get around, but man, have I got some tasty ideas.

*Filet Mignon in a Wild Mushroom and Red Wine reduction
Served over sauteed organic baby spinach
With Yukon potato wedges sprinkled with paprika, sea salt and pepper
Dessert: Lemon Sorbet with fresh mint
Appetizer: French baguette with boursin and brie

*Grated Potato Encrusted Halibut
Steamed Broccoli Raab and white wine-braised yellow squash
seasoned with garlic, fennel, and pepper
Dessert: Chilled watermelon
Appetizer: Goat cheese slices coated in spicy and sweet toasted almonds
served over mixed baby greens

*Italian Sausage with peppers and onions on grilled Italian bread
topped with smoked Provolone
Served with a salad of mixed greens, grape tomatoes, red onion, olives,
and cucumber tossed in a balsamic vinaigrette
Dessert: Bavarian Apple-Almond Torte
Appetizer: Wheat Bruschetta topped with pesto and grated Romano

*Pork Medallions in a dried cherry sauce
Served with whipped sweet potatoes
Grilled baby asparagus
Dessert: Chocolate cake topped with amaretto-infused whipped cream
and fresh raspberries
Appetizer: Pecan-encrusted baked Brie and Granny Smith apple slices

Okay, now I'm hungry....damn.

Laid up

Okay, so I am suffering from (here it comes, the official medical term) a subluxation of the patella. (Translation: I fucked up my kneecap.) It slid way out of place, pulling the muscle with it. Apparently everyone's kneecaps (that's right....ALL OF 'EM!) fit into a groove, and mine is shallow. Something I did knocked it out of place RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE FLOOR at Modjeska. I fell to the floor, although I am under the assumption that someone either helped me down or my ginormous ass cushioned my fall so nicely I didn't even notice. While I was writhing on the floor and trying to convince the nice bouncers not to call an ambulance, one of the friends I was with slipped me back into place, making it okay for me to get up and hobble out. And I wasn't even drunk!
After quite a bit of crying and utter embarrassment, I made it home and then to an urgent care facility, where a doctor told me it was just pulled, and that the worst thing that could have happened was a few torn fibers. I can't work until mid-next week, and I have to stay with it elevated, with occasional exercise until I can walk decently. So here I am, with nothing to do but read, watch TV, and check my MySpace until I have to use the bathroom or get hungry. Fortunately, I am making it without crutches around the house. However, both Heidi and my parents think I am "rushing it." I just don't like not being in control.

Exhaustion

After showering before work this morning, I noticed a little extra curve starting to make its way around my midsection and there and then I made a decision: ENOUGH! I wasn't about to let myself get any bigger. I always tend to procrastinate and find a reason not to exercise, but now I really have nothing to do but work. So, here we go. I worked and busted my ass for 8 hours today at work, and ate well. I didn't know what I was going to do about exercise, but opportunity presented itself in a friendly form. As I was getting a pedicure with my friend Randa, she mentioned she was going to the gym and to her bellydance class after she left the salon. She has been trying to get me to go with her for months now, and since I had school I never had time. I thought to myself, "What's stopping me?" I went to the class with her and had a great time! I'll be joining the gym tomorrow and going to that class regularly, as well as one of the other classes they offer. Aside from that, it's a 24-hour facility, so I can go anytime. I sweated and danced like crazy, and I can't remember when I've had a better time. The only thing is, the walls are lined with mirrors, so I have to look at my fat ass jiggling all over that place. (Bonus: I do look extremely TAN!) But, that I can deal with. Maybe I'll see myself getting smaller. Here we go! Feel free to encourage me, lord knows I'll need it...

S.O.L.

My brother is a less-than-productive individual, and hardly your average law-abiding citizen. He is a high school dropout, and a three-time tech school dropout. He's on his second strike with the state of Georgia, can't get a job, and is in EXTREME debt. He has had problems with certain substances for as long as I can remember. He is currently living at my parents' home, doing just short of nothing (he helps my father with outdoor work on occasion). My parents not only supply him with food and shelter in a rent-free environment, but they also finance his pack-a-day nicotine habit. I live at home as well, but have been gainfully employed (more or less) since I was 15 years old, and I have a college degree. I don't need to go into the job search. Anyways, here's what I'm leading up to. My mother calls me as I'm finishing up at work and tells me that Eric is out of cigarettes. She asks me to pick up a pack for him on the ay home. Here's the deal: I told my brother from day one when he was at the Mission, I would buy him food, books, soap, etc., but never cigarettes or alcohol. After thinking about it, I told my mom he was just S.O.L. and that I was not going to buy cigarettes for him. Did I do the right thing here? My mother lays a subtle guilt trip on me, like I should just have bought the cigarettes, but I'm sorry. I'm not going to do it. Ever.

Growing...out

Growing...not up, but out. I have to get out. I'm still looking for a job, but somehow I can't seem to find one. I don't think it's responsible to just up and leave without having some sort of plan, but I am this close to just packing and going. I want to be able to sit in on a Sunday afternoon and read without feeling like I'm neglecting something. I don't like feeling guilty for needing time to relax. I need to be on my own, and it's about time.
I'm jealous of those who can spend their time exactly like they want. I would like to be able to ration out my time the way I want to, rather than how my mother wants it, which usually allows for 15 minutes per menopause joke she gets from her emails. Does this make me a bad person? Maybe I'm just PMSing.