And the Saga continues...

I'm thinking that there's so much going on at work, I should just make it into a epic tale. A Tale of Woe, if you will...well, sort of. And I'll give it a title. Something like, "The Adventures and Misadventures of PostGrad in an Uneducated World." Nice ring, don't you think?

Chapter One: PostGrad the Enforcer
It's summertime, and the kiddies are out of school. What to do, what to do? I know! Let's go up to the leasing office and play with the water cooler! I know that a plague of summer vacation can often be chronic boredom. But with everything that's on TV, and the boundless capacities of a child's imagination, shouldn't one be able to find something to do? However, since parents here are nothing like what they used to be and seem to take no interest in what their children do, even though they may be sitting at home collecting a check (and dust), we've had to institute a rule that no child can be in the office without a parent. No more free cookies, no more water cooler games. I actually saw a kid trying to steal twenty four teabags from the coffee bar, not realizing I had a perfect view of what he was doing. I just want to scream, "Where are your parents? GO HOME!"
Then, later this afternoon, as I was walking a key over to the other side of the property, I hear someone's sound system blasting the music out. How generous of this individual, I think, to share his or her music with the better part of the CSRA! This, however, is not a nightclub. I walk over to the car, tap on the window, and kindly ask the guy to turn the music down, telling him that this was "a residential area." God, that felt good.
What have we learned from all this? Give PostGrad a little power, she becomes a Nazi.

Ain't she cute...

I haven't been to the gym in a week. Over a week. Between work craziness and my mom's surgery, I haven't had the desire. I know I keep saying I need to just go, no talking myself into it or out of it, just go, but last week was just too much. At one point, I went nearly 72 hours without sleep, and when my mom was in the hospital, I spent my free time there and not the YMCA.
In the meantime I'm on a cleaning kick - my room, my bathroom, my brother's room (it's become storage). I never realized just how much junk I have. It's going to be a bitch when I move out. And on that note, I'm still looking for other jobs. It's becoming more and more apparent that this is not a job I want for much longer. I don't regret the experience, but I can't take the environment. We can't get anything done because we're too busy battling the daily vandalism, the bad attitudes, the crime, both petty and not-so-petty. I don't feel safe there, and I'm a pretty tough chick. Even the little kids there are horrible. I feel more like SuperNanny (a name which they're actually started calling me around the office) rather than WonderLeaser. Fortunately I have been able to remain calm and professional through everything, but I am not being paid enough to have to put up with this crap.

*UPDATE*
Yet another PostGrad Shock: First Summer Vacation with a Full Time Job. 'Nuff said.

Now this is an issue...

I am not quite sure why, but I find myself moving into a pattern whenever I am slightly broke and am awaiting a paycheck. I window-shop online. Not only that, I plan out all the things I might have denied myself during the period of broke-ness. It's like a countdown to the possibility of impulse-buying, sort of. For one, I seriously need a pedicure. Even more than that, my eyebrows are starting to look like caterpillars. I start thinking of all the things I can do with the money after I pay my bills. (Hey, at least I figure in bill paying to the equation.) However, it's getting to be such a habit that I'm starting to wonder if it's not a little unhealthy. For what am I trying to compensate? I guess I'm just trying to figure it out before it goes too far and I don't even have bill money anymore.

Ergh.

But if this is the biggest one of my problems, I should just consider myself lucky!

Aha!

Bourdain is a genius. A bullshit-free wordsmith, a laid-back badass. The person I could never be, but whose trail I am more than eagerly following. Not to mention sexy as hell, and totally not my type. Most of the places to which he travels I wouldn't go myself, but I feel like he brings them to me through his writing and his televised experiences.
What's all this about? Well, I found an episode of "No Reservations" I haven't seen yet. God bless the Travel Channel.
Enough waxing poetic.

I've been doing well with my workouts. I'm finally starting to see a few changes in my body. I'm eating better, and less. My only thing is, I seem to find days in the week that I just don't want to work out (other than the weekends). In fact, I'm more likely to go work out on a Saturday or Sunday than, say, a Monday. I want to, just for one week, to go five days in a row. I've discovered how much I like swimming, and that it seems to give me a good workout in less time than just doing the treadmill and weights.
And another discovery: Healthy Choice Meals. Not too bad. Not entirely devoid of taste, but they do the trick and keep me from eating alot of crap. The Beef Merlot in the "Cafe Steamer" variety was actually pretty damn good, and almost too much food! My friends always tell me that it surprises them just how little I really do eat. I don't know whether that's like a veiled insult or not. ("Geez, you look like you would eat so much more! Like, a whole buffet, perhaps? You sure you don't want more?") It doesn't take much to get me full, and trust me, it SUCKS. I love food. I wish I could eat more. But that would be totally counterproductive. Rats.

*sigh*

I probably should NOT have driven home tonight. Oh well...Who cares?

Mother's Day?

I guess every female is open to it, but on the second Sunday of each May, someone always seems to wish me a "Happy Mother's Day." But that's the thing: I'm not a mother. I'd said, "Thank you, but I'm not a mother," but eventually just shortened it to "Thank you." To get irritated is really just silly; how would anyone know whether I am a mother or not? When I told someone I wasn't a mother, she said, "Well, you're a sister or a niece or a cousin, and that's what the day is about." Really? Is it? Wouldn't that take away from the general idea? If it were about that, then it would be "Female Family Member Day." Hold on, let me email Hallmark and see what cards they can come up with. I bet you they could market it.
Beyond that, it makes me think. Do I really want to be a mother? I honestly don't know. Right now I know it's a no, and nothing can change my mind. No matter how many babies I hold or take care of, no matter how many cute pregnant women I see, it doesn't make me want to do it myself. And I do love children. I know it's entirely up to me, but why do I feel like this means there's something wrong with me?

*Giggles*

Because I can't think of what else...

How did your day start off?
I didn't sleep well, so I woke up formulating ESL lessons in my head.

How old do you look?
Old enough?

Who has your heart at this moment?
Well, hell, hopefully I do!

Are you waiting for something?
Yes.

What were you doing at ten last night?
Dancing!

What made you laugh today?
Tutoring Marissa. Wait, that sounded bad.

Last myspace message you recieved?
Something from Pocho.

Does anyone hate you?
Nah, but if I put my mind to it, I bet i could make it happen!

Where are your siblings?
Hell if I know.

What are you up to this weekend?
Work, and maybe some dancing.

Are you happy with life?
Right now I'm pissed at it.

Can you handle the truth?
As long as it's being told.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
On many occasions.

Did you cry today?
Um, no. Not that pathetic.

Are you a jealous person?
Of what? I mean, look at me! hahahah....j/k

If you could have one person with you right now, who would it be?
Heidi.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes!!

Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?
I used to, but now I am too stressed to sleep that much.

What was the last book you read?
I just finished "24-Karat Kids," now I'm working on "Good Night Nobody."

If you were pregnant right now, who would be the baby's daddy?
With any luck, Cristian de la Fuente.

Is there something you always wear?
A bra! Without one, I'd take an eye out.

Have you ever thought about converting your religion?
Converting my religion? Into what? An alternative fuel source?

What's most stressing right now?
Gettting my stuff back!

What are you going to do after this?
Go to bed.

How's the weather today?
It was HOT! Eugh....

Do you own a computer?
Nah, this one's on layaway from Big Lots.
74 more payments and this baby's ALLLL MINE!

Do you swallow gum when you're done with it?
Ew, no.

Where was your default picture taken?
At my desk at work.

Do you like messages or comments better?
Either. Comments are more random.

What woke you up this morning?
An overwhelming feeling of dread.

Last time you went out of town?
Went to Carbondale 3 weeks ago!

What is your current mood?
Not so great. Confused, to be exact.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Light blue

What was the highlight of your week?
Getting 4 leases in one day.

Whose car were you in last?
Mine.

What are you listening to?
Frasier reruns.

Last shocking news you heard?
I don't know....?

What was the last thing you drank?
A coke.

Where's your cell phone?
On my bed.

Did you have a dream last night?
I don't remember it.

Are you left handed?
no.

What's for dinner tonight?
I had an egg burrito. Yes. An egg burrito. It was either that or another Healthy Choice Meal.

What is the last thing you thought about?
How when I yawned it kinda hurt my ear.

*@&@&*#&%#*&@&!*@&!!!!! Part II

I don't get it. I just do not understand. I can't think of what the hell went wrong. What did I do? Still nothing from him today, and I'm worried but at the same time I don't care. I just don't see how someone can go from making plans one minute, then blowing them off the next without so much as a "Sorry, can't make it." Even if he'd texted me (which, by the way, is a total fucking cop-out) and said he just wasn't feeling it, or me, I would have been OK with it. But nothing. Why is it that more and more men just think it's OK to obliterate common courtesy? But oh well, whatever's easiest, right?

@#^%*#&@*^$#@%##^!!!!!

I don't know if I should be pissed off or just irritated. I do know that I AM humiliated. Again. I don't even want to say anything to my parents or my friends, because I feel so stupid. (Then why blog about it? To me, it just feels anonymous, and I don't need to hear the "Awwww, that sucks," in people's voices.) I was supposed to have plans to go to a movie with this guy I have been seeing for the last few weeks. After making the plans, I went out and waited for the guy to call me to tell me when we'd be meeting at the theater. So I sat and read, like I always do when I'm waiting. I did a few other things, window shopped, et cetera, because I didn't figure on waiting long. Maybe an hour, tops. Yet, 5 hours later, I haven't heard a damn thing from him, and I'm now home.
When something goes wrong, I guess it's only natural to think of the "what ifs," or of the "woulda-coulda-shouldas." I could have accepted a babysitting job I turned down and actually made money. I could have gone to the Y and squeezed in a workout. I could have made plans to see someone else, or gone to see a movie by myself that I couldn't get one of my friends to want to see with me. But all that wondering isn't healthy, now, is it?
I've considered not letting myself be in this situation ever again, but the only way to guarantee that is to stop dating anyone altogether. It is possible, and definitely something I'm considering. Is it that hard to call someone?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bottle of wine chilling and some Merchant Ivory films to watch.