Saturday, May 3, 2008


I don't know if I should be pissed off or just irritated. I do know that I AM humiliated. Again. I don't even want to say anything to my parents or my friends, because I feel so stupid. (Then why blog about it? To me, it just feels anonymous, and I don't need to hear the "Awwww, that sucks," in people's voices.) I was supposed to have plans to go to a movie with this guy I have been seeing for the last few weeks. After making the plans, I went out and waited for the guy to call me to tell me when we'd be meeting at the theater. So I sat and read, like I always do when I'm waiting. I did a few other things, window shopped, et cetera, because I didn't figure on waiting long. Maybe an hour, tops. Yet, 5 hours later, I haven't heard a damn thing from him, and I'm now home.
When something goes wrong, I guess it's only natural to think of the "what ifs," or of the "woulda-coulda-shouldas." I could have accepted a babysitting job I turned down and actually made money. I could have gone to the Y and squeezed in a workout. I could have made plans to see someone else, or gone to see a movie by myself that I couldn't get one of my friends to want to see with me. But all that wondering isn't healthy, now, is it?
I've considered not letting myself be in this situation ever again, but the only way to guarantee that is to stop dating anyone altogether. It is possible, and definitely something I'm considering. Is it that hard to call someone?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bottle of wine chilling and some Merchant Ivory films to watch.


Ashley said...

what a douche. he could have called and let you know he was going to be a jerk. that would have saved you the energy.

Kathleen said...

Yeah. And the feelings of self-doubt.