Monday, April 28, 2008

And now we return to your regular programming, already in progress.

First of all, I apologize for the hiatus. I always keep intending on adding an entry, and often my head is filled with ideas, but by the time I work and then go to the gym and complete my day, my brain just doesn't function like it should. One should not attempt creativity on an empty tank of fuel. The results can be horrendous, or even worse, cheesy.
My job is starting to burn me out. On top of that, I don't feel safe there anymore. It was a halfway decent property when I began working there, but I can see it sinking. So can many of the residents. I don't like to admit it, but it's because we have been accepting Section Eight vouchers. I'll be the first one to tell you that there are many good people receiving assistance from the Housing Authority, people that truly need the help, and I'm glad my tax dollars are going towards helping them out. But at the same time, with many of these individuals comes the environment of the projects. More and more I go to show an apartment to a potential applicant, and have to walk past people outside working on their rims, booming the bass out of their cars, and spitting on the sidewalks. Just today I was showing our model two bedroom apartment to a client, and sitting outside on the stairs were several residents smoking, with their children running around barefoot, as one woman talked loudly and emphatically about her recent trip to jail. There is trash laying around, and not even the threat of being fined $25 per violation, or even eviction, catches their attention. There are many ideas that my coworkers and I have to snap things into shape, but it's not easy getting the necessary support. I just don't feel safe. I'm a pretty tough chick, but this is different. Therefore, I'm researching my options, and I'm open to suggestions.
Aside from all that, I'm actually learning to trust again. It's not so much about searching for honesty, it's accepting that it's actually there, regardless of what other people may have shown you in the past. It's a sort of "innocent until proven guilty" kind of philosophy, and believe it or not, it works! I don't mean you should trust someone blindly; there's always a certain amount of "guard" that needs to be put up. I was so scared that I'd be a bitter person after what I went through with my ex, but I think I may be seeing a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.